You say you love me

Say I’m the light of your life

Then you call me a slut

Say you want more in a wife


I gave you honesty

I gave you truth

I gave you kindness

And I gave you proof


Mistakenly thinking

We’d start the right way

Never dreaming I’d continually pay

For sharing my secrets, my fears my dreams

I should have listened to my soul it seems


When it warned me that you are cruel

You’ll take what I give you

And make it a tool

To hurt me and betray me

Destroy me one moment

And the next moment lay me


On a bed full of lies

In sheets soiled with shame

Claiming you love me

Then placing the blame


For all of your hurts

Upon my shoulders

‘Til one day I wake up

And I’m suddenly older

Feeling worthless and useless

And so much colder

Than I ever wanted to be


You laugh at my sorrow

And thrill in my pain

When I beg you to stop

You say “Don’t complain”


You condemn me and hate me

And dissect me completely

Then you look in my eyes

And you ask me so sweetly


To believe you’ve never loved

Like this before

Yet as you walk away

You call me a whore


Slap my face

and then caress my cheek

You scream “Shut the hell up!”

And then you ask me to speak


“God, please help me!”

On my knees I prayed

Please let tomorrow

be a better day


You punch my mouth

And then you give it a kiss

Well, I’d rather die alone

Than live with you like this!


I deserve better

I deserve more in life

I’m a good woman

And I’ve been a good wife


I’m through wearing glasses

To hide my black eyes

And I feel my spirit

Beginning to rise


I’m through feeling shame

I’m through placing blame

Your way to love and mine

Just aren’t the same


I’m through feeling sad

I’m through telling lies

So pack up your bottles

And say your goodbyes


(Song written in dishonor of my first husband by Elizabeth Carey 1999)












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